When Thomas was born I decided on a pediatrician that was part of this huge practice here. I figured "large" practice with many physicians and staff, how could we go wrong? Ha! Large practice with many physicians equaled in our case impersonal care. I could have walked in to our appointments with any baby of any race/color/background and they all could have asked, "...so how is {ruffling through chart} Thomas today?" When Thomas was 3 months old I noticed he would favor laying on one side of his head. Since I was instructed to only lay him on his back to sleep, he would only sleep with his head favoring the right side. The pediatrician told me that babies were used to being squished in the womb and this was "normal". I seriously did not know any better, none of my friends had babies so I was like "Ok" and went on my merry way. My mom tried to make like a donut for Thomas to sleep on as his head was beginning to get flat on one side. But as a new mother I was terrified for him to sleep on it for fear he would suffocate.
When Thomas was about 5 months old his head was very flattened on the right side and I brought him in for a well visit. This time the pediatrician just about flipped out over the shape of his head. I didn't know what to think. I really didn't. The other guys in the practice we saw didn't seem to bat an eye and we all know how often you're at the pediatrician's office with a young baby. This doctor immediately ordered a CAT scan. My husband and I were terrified. It was also recommended we see a neurologist. The CAT scan was done as well as a skull series/x-rays. Except for his head being terribly misshaped Thomas was "fine". We found a neurologist we didn't have to wait 3 months for an appointment and she diagnosed torticollis, which is the reason Thomas would only lay on one side of his head (for more info: http://www.torticolliskids.org/ ) She led us to a wonderful neurosurgeon in Manhattan at NYU who prescribed a moulding helmet to reshape his head and told us to apply for Early Intervention for physical therapy. Through Early Intervention we had Thomas also screened for speech impairment as he was not talking or babbling appropriately by 18 months. Needless to say we left that pediatrician group and we were referred by a very trusted friend to a doctor who had an established practice on her own. No other partners. It seemed perfect.
By the time Thomas was 3 yrs old he was having horrible tantrums and fits. He would hit me often. By often I mean daily and usually without any warning or provocation. When Thomas was 2yrs old I gave birth to our first daughter, A. I'll never forget having A in her car seat/carrier and Thomas grabbed the cordless phone and threw it at her. I literally dove in front of the phone to protect her. My eyebrow was split and Thomas was beside himself with how much the cut bled. I probably needed a stitch or 2 but there was no way I was taking 2 small children to the ER. He would have these lengthy tantrums where he would grab things and throw them. Wooden blocks were not allowed in our house. Neither were any type of small plastic balls (He threw one of those type toys at me and I had a black eye that was so purple my husband refused to be out in public with me). To make matters worse Thomas had multiple ear infections. Thomas' pediatrician at the time prescribed some sort of decongestant that only made the tantrums worse (if possible). The pediatrician didn't believe me that this could happen as it wasn't a side effect she was familiar with. (ummmm, ok...I'll talk more about this pediatrician~believe me). I insisted we try something else after Thomas broke a window in one of our french doors. It was his in home speech therapist who insisted to me that this medication was causing the tantrums to worsen.
I tried to get help, I told the pediatrician about the tantrums and hitting. In a nutshell I was patted on the head and told he was frustrated due to being so speech delayed. Or that the ear infections were causing the speech issues which was causing the behavior issues and after he had tubes put in his ears things would improve. Uh, huh.
When Thomas was 3 I was told, after lengthy testing that he was "mentally retarded" or MR as the psychologist liked to shorten it to. I was appalled. No he was NOT! Nope. How could he be?? My son was a wanted pregnancy, I did everything "right" when I was pregnant with him, he was breastfed, etc...We were married, high school sweethearts, I worked as an RN~I was educated for crying out loud. How could our child be retarded??
I was so angry I insisted the physician write an addendum to his written report that I vehemently disagree with his findings. Yes I did.
So there you go, major diagnosis number 1: Mental retardation and we can't forget Speech Impaired.
