Constant state of motion

I'm diagnosed with having an anxiety issue. I'm thinking the majority of us have issues with anxiety at some time or another, I know I have. I also know for me, this time its different. In my experience, when the anxiety comes over, it pretty much takes over. It's horrible and sometimes paralyzing and/or panic causing. I want to get out of my own skin if I could.

After starting therapy (loooooong overdue, very long) I also made an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss medication options. I did not want to go on this way without at least learning what options would be suggested. I reluctantly agreed to begin taking an anti anxiety medication. This was a HUGE step for me. I barely take Tylenol or Benadryl unless absolutely necessary.

I'm not ashamed or proud of deciding to take medication. It is what is it at this time in my life. We are in the process of chosing a residential school for our son. That in of itself is enough to produce anxiety, I'm also processing the past 15 yrs of my life as Thomas' mother. My emotions that haven't been faced but swept under or emotions I was so, so certain I had well under control. I was wrong. They are all in my face, now.

One of my coping mechanisms aside from thrift shopping has been maintaining a constant state of motion. Nope, sittings not a good thing. Sitting allows for my mind to go places I'd rather it not go. My self worth is examined, this worth that is not measured by a paycheck or anything "tangible" since I am a SAHM. The whole SAHM issue is something else my mind likes to berate as well.

With 4 kids there is always something to do. Always laundry, cleaning, sweeping, folding, you name it. One would think my house would be spotless due to my constant state of motion. Hardly. As soon as something is cleaned or vacuumed there is someone right there to undo what I did. It's an interesting situation I assure you.